In this article, dating coach Christopher Isaac offers a unique perspective into a man’s mentality on love and relationships and the crazy emotion that men need more than love itself…
Men and women think differently, and respond to things differently. We all know this and yet, despite all the dating advice columns out there trying to fill the gap between how the hell men and women communicate, I have found few couples that have learned how to act appropriately on that information.
Having coached both men and women I have found specific patterns that seem to go completely unnoticed in the dating community. If we remove all the bullshit we hear about the differences between men and women then we can come at this with a clean slate and set a foundation to renew how we approach relationships.
Ladies, this one is for you because men can be hard to read sometimes and they don’t always like to open up so when things feel wrong, it can leave you feeling pretty uneasy. Obviously, men have their own version of this problem, but I’m here to help you and give you some control and insight that you may not have considered before.
Men need love and connection just like you. Everyone does, it’s a part of human nature (we are mammals, afterall). However, men need respect more than they need love.
Think about it for a minute, how many arguments or fights were the result of you feeling strongly about a subject and approaching it in a way that made him feel like he was being disrespected? I think your mind should catch itself having an “aha!” moment at this point!
Don’t get me wrong, respect is absolutely a 2-way street in relationships and shouldn’t be undermined, but when you feel strongly about something your boyfriend is (wrongly) doing, then it’s important to remember that you can succeed in communicating in a healthy way that positively influences him. And you don’t do that by being critical and letting your emotions and frustration get in the way. You do that by coming from a place of pure love and support.
If you challenge him in a playful way to be the man that you need, you can sit back and watch how he responds to that challenge! A man will move mountains for an opportunity to feel like a man for the woman he loves, even if he is falling into a habit of making lazy decisions. This will light up his brain and inspire him to take action, again and again!
So say he’s sitting at home watching TV and being lazy, and you would love nothing more than for him to help you take out the trash and help you take on responsibility. You’re tired, you’re frustrated and irritated. The last thing you want to do is plead with a man when you’ve done it 100 times and he still doesn’t help around with the responsibilities on his own.
The best time to avoid this is to make sure it doesn’t happen in the first place by training your boyfriend to WANT to help you, so if this is where you’re at in your relationship then you do this by having him associate positive feeling with helping you! In this way, you’re creating an association between helping you and being rewarded, which is literally creating a habit in his brain. The most practical way to accomplish that is to make the mundane into a game – a challenge for him with rewards at the end.
So spice up your love life with surprises and going out of your way to let him know how amazing he is to you for all the help he offers! Men love to feel like a king, and when you can make him feel that way for helping you then you will have a relationship with that man unlike any you’ve ever had before!