The reality is there’s no such thing as a perfect marriage. Even in most fairy tales, there’s no certainty that the prince and the princess had a perfect married life after their grand wedding. The statement, “they lived happily ever after” closes the book, implying everyone that they indeed had a marriage filled with love.
But one thing is for certain: to fall in love is easy, but to stay in love is hard work. Nurturing your marriage is a must but given the lack of time, distractions, and other priorities in mind, the upkeep won’t be easy. In a time where expressing your love tend to be a secondary priority, it takes two to spice up your marriage and bring the spark back. And we’re not just talking about sex, though it is an essential ingredient to a happy marriage.
Proven Ways to Spice Up Your Marriage
To help you bring the spark back and have a happier and healthier relationship with your spouse, here are eight simple ways you may keep in mind.
1. Turn back the clock
Reminiscing is one of the best ways to bring back the lost spark in your marriage. Instead of talking about somebody else’s life, talk about your own love story – your first meeting, courtship, and wedding. Reliving the old times helps you stay crazy it love since it reminds you of the worth of your marriage and the importance of keeping what you have alive and kicking.
2. Never stop courting each other
Next to reminiscing those old times, it would be great to relive those sweet moments through actions and do what you and your spouse used to do before “life” happened. Never stop courting each other. Write notes and letters to each other. Send sweet texts to each other. Snuggle when you can. Seduce each other. Flirt with your spouse, like the way you used to do.
Even the simplest romantic gestures like stealing a kiss while your spouse is cooking in the kitchen or hugging him or her from behind while your partner is brushing his or her teeth can help bring the spark back.
3. Change something
Most married couples fall into a boring routine, doing the same stuff over and over again at the same time in the same place. You can spice up your marriage by mixing things up a bit. For instance, you can eat dinner outside, literally in your balcony, while under the canopy of stars. You can also try to change topics and go beyond your usual small talks and kid or work-related rants.
Mixing things up also applies to love making – where you change the location, the position, the attire, and even the time. You can also add some props to spice up the moment, like a bottle of tequila, a toy, a game, or a soothing music.
4. Do something unexpected
Ditch your loose sweaters and get dressed for no reason as your partner comes home. Surprise your spouse in his or her workplace for lunch, or prepare him or her breakfast in bed. Write some flirty notes and stick them on his or her coffee mug. Take care of his or her to-do list while he or she is relaxing in a steamy bath filled with rose petals and scented candles.
Whether it’s a reward for something your partner has done or a simple act of thoughtfulness, it always feels better to come home to someone who cares and appreciates.
5. Seek out each other’s company
Instead of having a girl’s night out during Friday nights or inviting your friends over for a late night poker game after a long week at work, seek the company of your partner. Lack of time is the major culprit of most broken relationships.
Stay at home, sleep together (literally) and make time for some cuddling. If you have problems, don’t seek your friends but instead, vent your frustrations out to your partner and let him or her help resolve the conflicts.
6. Overlook simple annoyances
So he slept without washing the plate he used for his midnight snack. Again. And no matter how much you remind him, you know these incidents will still happen. You know what? It doesn’t matter. These itsy-bitsy annoyances can cause resentment which should not take over your beautiful relationship. Instead of complaining constantly, accept that there are things you can’t change, like your partner’s behaviors. You should not keep a record of wrongs so focus on what he’s doing right and appreciate it.
7. Ditch the distractions
A couple under one roof, wherein the husband keeps on chasing Pokémons while the wife is busy with updating her Facebook status, is similar to a couple who is a thousand miles away from each other. Phones, tablets, laptops, televisions and other forms of distractions create huge barriers that hinder good communication from taking place.
Put the gadgets down and get off Facebook. Talk to your partner and look at him or her in the eyes while you’re talking. And please don’t rush to end the conversation so you can check your e-mail or do something else. These simple gestures promote trust, intimacy, and can lead to healthy conversations, which are beneficial to your marriage.
8. Plan something exciting together
Manage to take some time off from parenting and job-related hustles and escape to somewhere exciting together. Just like when you were newlyweds, look for places you haven’t seen before and do new and exciting things. It may be an anniversary getaway to renew your marriage or a simple weekend vacation.
One day, you and your spouse will grow old and will develop wrinkles and brittle bones. You’ll get weak and will barely have the strength to carry your wife to bed, or have the same, pleasant voice to sing your spouse’s favorite song. All the moments you have today, whether they are good or bad, will merely be memories you’d wish to replay over and over again.
So make each memory count. Travel the world. Have as much intimacy. Fight less and love more. Enjoy the company of each other. As long as you’re madly in love, appreciate the little things, like vigor and strength while it’s still there and make the most out of it.